Awkward vs Strange

You thought that was awkard? Well this is strange...

Awkward is your girlfriend’s dad walking in on you.
Strange is him rubbing your back and coaching you through it.

Awkward is walking in on your folks.
Strange is joining them.

Awkward is calling out the wrong name when with your boyfriend.
Strange is your boyfriend calling out the wrong guy’s name when with you.

Awkward is someone using the urinal next to you.
Strange is someone using the same urinal you used while you are using it.

Awkward is someone correcting you that they are not a man.
Strange is someone correcting you that they are not a man…until Tuesday.

Awkward is having your mouth open as your grandma plants one on you.
Strange is her slipping you the tongue.

Awkward is a stranger telling you your fly is down.
Strange is them helping you zip up.

Awkward is someone having a conversation with you from the next stall.
Strange is them passing you notes under the stall.

Awkward is shopping for underwear with your mom
Strange is shopping for lingerie with your mom

Awkward is reaching too high for a handshake.
Strange is reaching too low for a handshake.

Awkward is borrowing batteries from your roommate
Strange is borrowing batteries and “their toy”

Awkward is developing rigor in your trousers as the teacher picks on you
Strange is telling the teacher about the development

Awkward is developing rigor in your trousers while dancing with your crush
Strange is developing rigor in your trousers while dancing with your mom

Awkward is your girlfriend watching you pee
Strange is your girlfriend making you watch her pee

March Tangents

• First of all, pull your pants up!
• Black is slimming…if you are skinny.
• No. YOU fit the description!
• Can you really hide from Superman?
• Shouldn’t Batman be locked up in an asylum along with the other bad guys? Or at least be on Queer Eye for the Strange Guy? Honestly! Who wears underwear on the outside of their tights?
• Why isn’t there straight eye for the queer guy?
• Or biggest winner?
  
• And who the hell are these so called “fashion experts?”
• Why is everything “extreme” these days?
• Just what I need, more caffeine –monster, red bull, throttle, mountain dew nocturnal, bawls.
• Honey is bee barf.
• Popcorn is awesome, the smell alone makes you hungry.
• How come there is no popcorn flavoured air fresheners?
• If the cab drivers here do not speak English and the cab drivers in other countries do not speak English… where the hell are all the English speaking cab drivers?
• Please resist the urge to automatically call any black person “bro,” or give us the peace sign and most of all, DO NOT under any circumstances pump your fist or holla out ‘fight the power.’ It does not show you “down” or make you “tight.” It makes you get “beat.”
• Pull your pants up!
• You are not Rick James. BITCH!
• I know Victoria’s Secret. She a damn ho!
• No those jeans don’t make your ass look big, your ass makes your ass look big.
• Straighten out your hat.
• Pull your pants up.
• OJ is not a murderer, he just kills a lot.
• Now that Johnny Cochrane is no longer with us, who will help athletes and stars stay out of prison? –watch yourself Kobe, OJ, MJ, Rasheed
• Seriously, who buys a used submarine?
• How the hell can getting peed on be arousing?
• Don't even get me started on pooping on people!
  
• Tough call –Chuck Norris vs Jack Bauer
• Can Michael Jackson ever look human again?
• That’s enough Bono!
• Paul Martin…Canadian Clinton?
• Harry Ballsanga vs Hous Bin Far-teen
• Who is more famous –Celine Dion or Shania Twain? Who cares?
• Eddie Murphy Raw or Delirious?
• Chappelle or Eddie?