I’m smiling cause I’m yelling inside…

You know how someone tells a joke but it ain’t funny or laugh outloud funny? The kind where they wait for your reaction and you say you are laughing on the inside?

Well this is kinda like that. Think of it this way, you are walking down the street, driving, whatever and you see something you would love to comment on but you keep on walking? And the person keeps on doing what they doing cause ain’t nobody sayin’ nuttin’ so donkey face keeps on keeping on! Dammit sometimes you just find yourself commenting in your head about it. If you are like me, you are yelling on the inside, yelling stuff like:

• Drive or use the phone but not both
• Damn you are not seriously eyeing me up are you?
  
• If you are cold maybe you should have put some clothes on!
  
• Listen, you ain’t Jay-Z, you ain’t famous, take off those damn sunglasses. You are indoors you inbred goat massager!
• Really? That's what you are wearing?
• If you are going to walk slowly, stick to one side of the sidewalk or risk getting a fist in the back of the head.
  
• Eye me up one more time and I’ma hog tie you and let Quagmire go to work on you.
• Pull your pants up
  
• Wow you ARE ugly!
  
• Straighten out your hat
  
• Dammit girl, if it ain’t a Ho Show, don’t wear the Ho Gear!
  
• This is not a negotiation stare, move out of my way, I’m bigger than you!
  
• Oh no? Well I guarantee I am faster and all I need is one quick flying fist.
  
• Wow, you are brave to be holding her hand in public.
  
• The only reason I am looking at your girl is to figure out which of the two of you is on the losing end of this bet.
  
• Clutching your purse a little tighter as you walk past me is not gonna stop me from taking it if I really want to.
  
• No one called you, no one wants to call you, hell your number is disconnected; put your damn phone away.
  
• Wow, we should makeout
  
• Yup that’s my package, UPS delivered. I signed for it.
  
• Hellooooo my eyes are up here!
  
• At what time in the morning do you dress yourself cause clearly you are not awake when you do.
  
• You would make a handsome man cause being a so called hot girl is not working out well for you.
  
• Yeah I smiled at your girl, only cause she is about to dump your ass and she knows that I know.
  
• Short people, stop swinging your arms so high when you walk. Especially in a busy area.
  

The Cosby Clause

The Cosby Clause

I strongly believe in the first insight that dictates that we need to be conscious that the coincidences in life are not coincidences at all –things happen for a reason, in threes, etc.

I thought I would point the first insight because it shaped what today’s blog would be. And today being Friday the 13th, it seems obvious now having three strong cues. After getting the third cue it happened, just as surely as the repercussions of Tina back talking Ike, it hit me. The final cue to write the Cosby clause hit me. It hit me so hard I thought Jack Bauer just pistol whipped me like my name was Nina Myers and y’all know Bauer hates Nina! I had often thought/stated the Cosby Clause but today it seemed necessary to write it down.

I will start with the cues that led up to this point. The first cue occurred in between my comatose states when I was sick earlier this week. I came across an episode of the Cosby’s; I thought why not, give it a chance. By the end of the episode I was beaming like a damn fool that just learned how to pee standing up. The second came about when a colleague dropped by my office yesterday and mentioned that he had been chatting with an old friend of mine and they had chatted about me for a bit. You see we sometimes call that old friend the Cos because he smiles just like the Cos and hell you’d need to meet him because he is the Cos. The third and final cue came when I was reading the paper on the subway this morning when I came across an article about the Cos performing at a casino in the great white north. Bam there it is, me asking Tyson if he was castrated as a teenager before he was able to develop a man voice, the knock out cue! Well, I know most of you don’t like to read for too long so I will just get into it.

The Cosby Clause states that:
No matter what kind of mood you are in, there is no way you can walk away from a Cosby Show episode without at least beaming intrinsically.

Basically, if you are feeling crappy or just blah, watch an episode of the Cosby Show. If you don’t walk away from that episode beaming ear to ear or warmed up to your cockles or even your sub-cockles, then you weren’t watching the Cos. You saw the Cos but you weren’t watching the Cos.

I could go on to tell you about how it was one of the longest running family sitcoms or try to explain a zerbert or you tell me how Denise went all badass. But honestly, no matter what you have to say, the show gets you mesmerized from the get go. As a kid I remember loving the opening dance credits hell I still do the Cosby dance at weddings!