This definitive work may have been referred to or inferred in the past. However, it was never articulated until the summer of 2004 also known as the summer of Brown.
This law makes sense on so many levels and yet it is so simple. I will preface by saying, to every rule there are exceptions…or are there?
Although the idea behind the law has existed since before the booty call which dates back to the ancient Romans; the law was articulated by a visionary who shall be referred to simply as Mr. Brown. With Mr. Brown being the father of the law, it was hence since named in his honour.
Brown's Law reads:Think about it, that girl you are/were tight with, you would drop anything you were doing to help her out, rain or shine. You want to convince who that you didn’t want to hit it? What you didn’t realize was that all your efforts of being there and being one she could count on further put you in the dreaded friendship zone, the I like you…as a friend zone. You decide to bide your time by continuously being that great friend with the hopes that sooner or later she will stop telling you about those other guys, wondering why she can’t find a guy like you and realize that you are that guy. If this is you, stop watching those teenie bopper movies and grow some chest hair!
A heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman are very close friends only because one of the two is sexually attracted to the other.
- In lame man's words: a guy and a girl are only tight because one of them wants to hit it.
Ladies, don’t think you are escaping from this law, far be it, you are the guiltiest of this law. Guys, think about it, that girl that is your friend, she would drop everything at an instant to help you out of a bind even if it is as trivial as picking up toilet paper for you. Think about it. Do you have a friend that would pick up toilet paper for you if you asked? She wants to hit it! Girls are better at hiding their hit it instincts better than guys but you gotta realize they got instincts too.
Retort: The only way you can dispute this law is if you have a friend that you are that tight with and you don't want to hit it.
If you two can hangout often, hell sleep and cuddle in the same bed on a regular occasion without anything being “awkward” or sexually charged then it is your friend that wants to hit it. Plain and simple, don’t be naïve, one of you wants to hit it and if it ain’t you then it is definitely them.
Some of you might even throw the argument out there that you have had or still do have a friend that you are that close with and nothing ever happened that way. The rule does not say that something must or will happen sooner or later, it just states that someone wants the other.
Exception: There are exceptions, if you met your friend while they were in a relationship or are related to them (southern states and Newfoundland excluded).
The law also does not apply if you do not have a close friend of the opposite sex.
Look for Fletch’s Retort, the follow-up to Brown’s Law. A retort for those that realize the impact of Brown’s law and try to fulfill the fantasy that engages the law.
