Washes while you pee

Ladies and Gentlemen: What I propose to you today is indeed a revolution. A revolution on hygiene, a revolution on common sense. Today is the dawn of a new age!

Alright Q, where are you going with this?

Let me start by asking the following question. Gentlemen, what is our most prized possession? It is worth more to us than any amount of money, cars or women. Although men often state they are willing to part with portions of this possession for a rather attractive woman. Our junk! Think about it, ain’t no way in hell are you gonna go on Fear Factor, Joe Roegan offer you a million bucks to use a rusty butter knife to chop ya junk off and eat it. HELL NO!!! A toe, maybe. As a matter of fact, screw Joe Roegan!

I will repeat it, Howie damn Mandel can say “I’ma give you five mil to chop off ya junk, one mil for justa nut. Deal or no deal?” Heeellll no! Here is a new deal Howie, I’ma give you one mil and a swift righteous kick in the pants if you shut the eff up and never appear on tv again!

Now that I have established what our prized possession is, I can begin. It is our prized possession yet we sometimes don’t treat it right. Follow me as I paint this picture:

You just walk in a club, you give props to all your peeps including Dave the dope-fiend that don’t know the meaning of the word soap. Hell you in the club and you even give rubs to that girl that you know prob caught something at least twice.

You make your way to the bar and order that nice rum and coke or Shirley Temple if you a candy ass. As you wait for your drink, you hear your track come over the speakers and you start drumming away on the bar as you wait. You get your drink, pay for it and go do your thing.

Now you need to go to the washroom. You get to the washroom and are about to unleash the dragon then you decide to look at the evidence:

1. You shook hands with nuff people and who knows who just finished picking what. Hell, who didn’t wash their hands? Can you remember?
2. Then you were drumming on the bar, the sticky, gritty, grimy bar that someone prob yakked on 20mins earlier.
3. You handled money and I don’t even need to tell you how many people handled that money before it got in your hands.
4. Then you went to the washroom, the door handle was wet…ewww. You got a hi-five from the drunken fool on his way out.
5. And now you are about to handle your junk...

There is the evidence. Now think…how clean are your hands? Not very right? Then why in the world would you handle your junk after such abuse to your hands? You are literally shaking your junk with everyone else’s hands including that grimy dude that you know prob doesn’t wash everyday.

The revolution is simple, wash your hands before you pee! Sounds easy enough right?
Keep that in mind next time you are at the club, public places, hell even at home. What/who were you doing before you went to the washroom and insist on abusing your best friend. Reduce junk abuse, wash before you pee!