Let’s have some new clichés

I’m just going to dive right into this one, no foreplay or teasing, just straight ranting! Seriously, who thought up some of these sayings and how the heck do they stick? How did they become clichés? Seriously!

1. It’s like peeing in the wind. Who the hell pees into the wind? Do you like the feel of your own pee all over you? Sure it keeps you warm but that doesn’t last and you end up smelling like like like PEE!!!
2. Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Sucka, there wouldn’t be procrastination if we did it today now would there?
3. It it ain’t broke, don’t try and fix it. If I don’t throw an elbow, ya best not try and catch it ya donkey faced jacka$$
4. You make a better door than a window. I’ll tell you what…you make a better punching bag than a kicking stump.
5. Watched pot never boils. Umm…I think you are supposed to light it and smo…oh wait it’s supposed to be A watched pot. My bad!
6. Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Have you ever had a dictionary thrown at you? Better yet, tell you what, let’s go to the library and I will push a few stacks over and you tell me if it hurts. You over read bookworm!
7. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Umm…one word…pate.
8. Time flies when you're having fun. I have no problem with this one but shouldn’t there be an antithesis to this that reads: Time crawls when you are not having a ball?
9. Sick as a dog. Last I checked most dogs aren’t sick…often. So what the hell? If the saying was something about being as happy as a puppy or something like that, then I would understand.