National Beat Down Day

National Beat Down Day

So there I was on the shuttle from Kansas City International Airport to the hotel with my boss when I got the inspiration for this blog.

Now this intro story is one that you have heard many a time, hell it has been beaten to death. Actually, scratch that, it was beaten to death revived and then beaten to death…again!

We are on the shuttle with about 10 other people when the lady behind us decides to whip it out and use it. One of those awkward situations where it gets whipped out in public or in a closed space, someone should say something but no one does. Hell in this day and age where it has been talked to death, it is not even awkward, it is in between awkward and strange. It is more awkward than the day your grandma kissed you goodnight, open-mouthed; but not as strange as the day she slipped in the tongue.

I mean think about it, when was the last time someone whipped out their cell phone in a bus, movie, meeting and started talking louder than everyone else there? Hell, not only one phone call of two minutes but a series of calls all lasting at least ten minutes. By the end of the ride, I and all other passengers knew her whole family, their trials, tribulations and how much Jesus loves them!

With each call it became more irritating, like the same old joke you hear from the same person five times a week. I started trying to think of my happy place but all that could come to mind were other irritating situations similar to the current.

That is when I decided to invent a day called National Beatdown Day. A day where you can beatdown all those people that do those irritating things that should not be happening in this day and age:

• People that change lanes without signaling
• People that come to a complete stop before turning right, on a green light!
• People that use the word “like” every other word.
• People that leave their ringers on in a movie, use vibrate.
• People that take the call.
• People that make the call in the movie!
• People that expect you to hold the door open for them because you got there first.
• People that ask you about the weather. How about the damn weather?
• People that end a statement with an inflection on the end word making it a question without it being a question?
• People who pontificate.
• People who feel their credentials wins debates… “I should know, I’m a PhD.” Is that right J-nuts? Well you should know you are about to get the dreaded flying fist then!
• Political advertising…mudslinging! Run a campaign damnit! Tell me what you will do for me.
• Bob Saget, Mike Sidenberg!
• Regis Phillbin…not as much as Kelly Rippa! No one likes your son! He will be known as King Poopy Pants through highschool.
• People who say “no offense,” before saying something downright rude.
• Kevin Federline followed by Justin Timberlake –although d*$& in a box is pretty damn funny
• Creators of: Survivor, Amazing Race, Dancing with the Stars… You get the idea!
• Bad customer service at a restaurant
• Rude/arrogant retail/mall workers.