Now I was listening to this talk radio station about an hour ago and the host was talking about the headaches of renovating his house. He goes off on a tangent (yes I know “hello pot? This is the kettle…”) about his power tools and electricity, that’s when he drops the line “I had to get a really long extension cord.” Um, I don’t know about you but isn’t that the point of getting an extension cord? Because it is long???
So I drifted off into my place of randomness and started to wonder about some more of the oxymorons and redundant/irritating phrases people use everyday and I thought I would throw some out there. Feel free to add yours:
“I hate to interrupt but…” –if you hate to interrupt, why you doing it then? ~Where the hell is my fish bonker?
“How about this weather?” ~How about it ya damn heifer? Would you like me to tell you the chance of precipitation or the chance of my foot connecting with your doodie maker? P.s. Is it spelled doodie or doody?
The next time you need to use any of the following phrases, just stop and don’t say them at all no matter how honest your intentions are: no offense, don’t take this the wrong way, not sure how to say this… Just stop yourself. STOP!
- When you are reading a book and you come across a page that has this written at the bottom “this page intentionally left blank.” -What the hell??? It ain’t blank if you wrote on it ya donkey!
- “I’d give my right arm to…,” –Honestly! No matter how the phrase were to end, unless you are Dhamer, who wants a body part as a gift? If the phrase were to go “I’d give my right arm to go on a date with her.” Do you see yourself picking her up for the date and instead of giving her flowers you give her your newly severed arm?
- Reality shows…that is another blog waiting to happen! What the eff is real about them? When was the last time you were trapped on an island with a bunch of strangers or locked in a house with the outcome being a lot of money? If you want it to be real, film these people taking a dump, yakking, … that is real…
I could go on but I think I will start my next tangent on Reality Shows!
And SCREW JOE ROEGAN damn Fear Factor my ass!
