I gotta admit, this tangent is not mine, a friend of a friend wrote this one but I thought you would all love it as Rock, Paper, Scissors enthusiasts.
understand that scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there's no f*cking way paper can beat rock. Paper is supposed to magically "wrap around" rock, rendering it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors?
Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why -BECAUSE PAPER CAN'T BEAT ANYBODY! A rock would tear that sh*t up in 2 seconds.
When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh sh*t, I'm sorry. I thought that paper would protect you."
Next time one of your friends gives you safe, puts their hand as a fist to give you rock as the handshake, go to it with your rock but at the last second open your hand and cover their fist and yell "PAPER B*TCH, paper beats rock!"
More insanity from the mind formerly known as Q
