Very Random Tangents

You bored? Looking to kill time before your next enema? Well here are some random thoughts and points to ponder

• If you can be born again, can you be dead again?
• Is it true the name Wendy was made up by the author of Peter Pan?
• It is impossible to kiss your own elbow.
• The easter bunny is one deranged animal carrying around eggs.
• I love animals! They taste great.
• Is it just me or is Ricky Williams what Michael would have become on weed, roids and the “skin disease?”
• Yo, where is Martin Lawrence?
• Why is Samuel L. Jackson always yelling?
• If the south is so dumb and that is where all the inbreds are, how come 4 of the last 5 presidents are from the south?
• Who has done more drugs, Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones or Ozzy Osbourne?
• Do you wake up or open your eyes first?
• Who is John and where is he at 3:16?
• Can Catholic Priests make good babysitters?
• Why do child labor laws not prohibit children from acting in movies?
• If you can’t have your cake and eat it too, then what the hell is the point of cake?
• Seriously! Who the hell is Dave Navarro and why doesn’t he own a razor?
• Why does every woman think that all men’s fantasies involve two women? Why do all men’s’ fantasies involve two women?
• If all of the water were drained from the body of an average 160-pound man, the body would weigh 64 pounds.
• How the hell does one realize they enjoy getting peed on?
• Who discovered pleasure in being peed on? Was it by accident?
• If millions to billions of people die everyday of diseases, accidents, old age, and health related issues, how come human beings are not extinct?
• Halle Berry or Angelina Jolie?
• Taye Diggs or Tyson Beckford?
• Reality shows are not educational resources.
• If ice cream is dairy, why can’t we have it for breakfast?
• Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
• No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
• Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
• They say 3 out of 5 adults suffer from hemarroids. Who the hell are the remaining 2 out of 5 that enjoy it?
• Aren’t feminists cute?
• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
• Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.
• If you just showered at the gym and your boy snaps you with his towel, wrestling him while you’re both naked is just wrong.
• Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already. Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese but you realize you've never bought that kind.
• A man’s telephone conversation with a woman should never go on longer than he is able to have sex with her.
• Unless freestyling, joining your boy who is already singing along to a song in the car is just wrong!